Rapunzel
by LDNatalie
Summary: Boosh AU, rated T. Fairy tale with a twist.
1. Chapter 1

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_**Hi! I decided to do a Boosh AU, and this is the result. I hope you like it, please review :) xx**_

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'_Alas, I cannot get it for you' Bryan Ferry said mournfully to his wife. _

'_You bloody better' she said, shifting uncomfortably on her chair and resting her hands over her large pregnant stomach._

'_But, if she catches me again…' Bryan Ferry said anxiously, wringing his hands and looking out the window of their small cottage._

_It was a hot day and the scent of lilacs washed through the cottage, and a small bee bounced merrily along the windowsill. Mrs Ferry was tired and fed-up, this baby had been a nightmare, it never stopped kicking…well it was less kicking and more posing actually. Sometimes she felt like the baby was forming shapes in the air, and she could swear she once heard it complain when she ate fresh vegetables from their patch. Bryan Ferry had looked startled before going back to the chores, hoovering happily and swaying as he moved. Watching him she figured it was plausible. _

'_But I need it' she said longingly, standing up and stretching her aching joints. At nights she longed for ** ,she dreamt of it, she thought about it constantly. It was all she wanted and the thought of not having it was be coming unbearable. _

'_Darling' Bryan Ferry said tenderly, moving forwards and stroking her cheek, 'I cannot get it, if she catches me, she will surely do great harm against me, people say she uses dark magic, some say he's as big as a garage!'._

_Mrs Ferry nodded but her gaze soon returned to the walled garden, and she could almost hear the Rapunzel plant call to her, imploring her to come and taste it, come and indulge, just this once. _

_Two days later and Mrs Ferry was out of her mind with madness. She couldn't sleep or eat or think of anything else, and Bryan Ferry was sick with worry over her, and their unborn child. _

'_Please, please' she said, the tears pouring down her face, and her hot hand imploringly clasping his. 'Please, darling, if not for, for my child, I can't last much longer without it'._

_Bryan didn't know what to do, so he kissed his wife tenderly and promised to get it for her, taking a small bag and taking a deep breathe, he scaled the garden wall._

_Bryan Ferry tiptoed in the garden, looking for the precious root; he peered round feeling his heart race. Then, with an inward cheer he saw the root, almost glowing in the moonlight. He moved towards it, feeling the night close in on him. Suddenly an owl hooted in the distance and he froze, his heart beating out of his chest. Pausing to gather himself he crouched and cupped the small leaf of the plant, scooping out the soil and gently taking the root and pulling upwards. Feeling a rush of elation he took the root and placed it into his pocket, turning and hurrying towards the wall._

'_Where. Are. You. Going, Sir?' said a slow, lazy voice heavy with meaning._

_Bryan Ferry closed his eyes, filled with fear. _

'_Please, please' he said in a rush, 'please, let me explain'_

'_Old Gregg will let you' the witch said lazily._

_Bryan Ferry turned around and dropped to his knees._

'_Its for my wife, she is sick, sick of longing for this plant, you accept no money, will do no trade, she was dying' he said passionately, feeling tears fall from his eyes._

_Old Gregg lolloped over, cocking his head thoughtfully. 'Are you playing a game?' he said curiously._

_Bryan Ferry looked up curiously, 'A game? No, of course not'_

'_Shame' Old Gregg chirruped. 'Old Gregg likes a game'._

'_Please, we could trade, I'll do anything' Bryan Ferry pleaded._

'_You have stolen from Old Gregg' he said thoughtfully, twirling a piece of his seaweed hair._

_It struck Bryan Ferry as odd, as they were miles from the sea, but he focused on the matter at hand._

'_I, did not mean to, I did it for my wife, she is with child' he said, his heart clenching at the thought of their most-wanted baby._

'_Ah' Old Gregg said happily, 'I like babies, I can feed then milky goodness and start a little band!'_

_Bryan Ferry frowned, 'We will…name the child after you?'_

_Old Gregg frowned, 'No. Old Gregg has decided. Either I kill you, then kill your wife by denying her the Rapunzel root – or' his eyes gleamed and he licked his bright red lips slyly. 'Or, you hand over the child, and I keep them safe with me'_

_Bryan Ferry gasped, 'No, anything, please, have mercy' he said._

_Old Gregg smiled a crooked grin. 'I don't play no motherfucking games' he said._

xxxxx

Vince swayed along to the small radio and reached for his eyeliner. That make-up-by-mail service was genius, that little bird comes along and drops off a pretty little package, you give it a sweet, and that's it! Instant new look!

Shame there's no-one to show-off to.

Flicking his hair off his shoulder, he moved towards his straighteners. He was getting through a pair a week at this rate, Old Gregg wouldn't give him scissors and it took about 4 hours to straighten all of it. He longed for a re-style, maybe a cheeky fringe? Looking out over the fields and the lake he sighed. He may have his animal friends, and Old Gregg occasionally, but he was so lonely.

He was just putting the finishing touch to his new look – Tribal Florals – when he heard the now-familiar call.

'Oh Vincey, Vincey, let down your hair, I'm Old Gregg'.

Vince tutted. Just because Old Gregg sort of owned him, didn't mean he _owned_ him.

He huffed and moved over to his bed, sinking down on it and kicking his feet against the ruffles.

'Vincey' Old Gregg said firmly, 'I've fruity bootlaces for ya!…'

Vince made a happy noise and bounced up, nearly falling over on his hair.

He carefully threw his hair over the side and grimaced as Old Gregg began to climb.

'You need to stop drinking that Baileys mate. Its full o'cream and you're getting well heavy' Vince said grumpily, stroking his head reassuringly and wincing.

Old Gregg frowned and danced to his other foot, 'Food' he said helpfully, 'Now – have you practiced your routine for Old Gregg?'

'Yes' Vince sighed, sloping off. Old Gregg moved other to the other side of the turret, to the small staging area; he sat down and patiently waited. Vince came out from behind the curtain and struck a pose, a spotlight landing on him. Old Gregg clapped politely.

Vince began to dance and sing, but his heart wasn't really in it. Old Gregg's eyes narrowed. 'Now Vincey' he said, standing up. 'Did you take your funk shake?'

Vince gulped and bit his lip, 'Yeah' he lied, looking the other way and shuffling.

'You haven't got the funk! There is no jazzy goodness!' Old Gregg shouted, throwing his hands up and then bringing them back down to adjust his tutu.

'I was thinking' Vince began, resting a hand on his jaw and cocking a hip 'that we could, like go in a new direction?'

'No.' Old Gregg said firmly, 'We are staying true to the funk, my fuzzy little man peach!'

Vince sighed, 'Buts its not me, I feel like there's something else for me, something more static, less fluid'.

'There IS nothing else' Old Gregg said, his eyes flitting to the left anxiously.

'There is EVERYTHING else' Vince said, gesturing outside the window and his eyes pleading with Old Gregg to understand.

'Do you' Old Gregg started, his gaze turning menacing, 'want me to back out on Old Gregg's part of the bargain, with Old Gregg not hurting your parents?'

Vince shook his head wildly, his pulse racing. 'No, no, I'll rehearse more, I promise'.

'You better' Old Gregg said, 'Because' he suddenly seemed to switch to manically happy, 'Old Gregg wants the funk, yes Sir!'

Vince nodded sadly and slumped down on his bed.

xxxx

Howard Moon, prince-in-training, button collector and railway enthusiast was completing his morning constitutional, his stroll around the kingdom. He was considering all of life's important questions, his future kingdom seemed properly organised, it needed some kind of structure. He longed to change it, to map out the forests, the lakes, the meadows; to establish his own kingdom full of music and quiet hard work.

He was practicing aloud his proposal, trying to sum up his adoration for Lady Gideon, wondering if perhaps one of his marvelled – well his mother said it was quite good – cream poems.

'Oh fair lady' he said, gesturing into the trees and hearing the distinct sound of a squirrel being copiously sick. Flattening down his tunic with one hand he frowned before bravely continuing.

'May I have your hand, your creamy hand, so like cream in its texture and…scent' he turned and tried on another tree, trying to let his face show his love.

The problem was he didn't really _like_ Lady Gideon. Half the time she didn't remember his name, and the other half she was chewing bamboo and sighing wistfully. She was an odd type of girl. However, her father owned the neighbouring kingdom, so it must be done. There was no-one else, the neighbouring kingdoms had all had boys, or were married already. Lady Gideon seemed to be his fate.

'So we can build upon our marriage, like a cloud of cream, and the whiteness can symbolise our purity and the cream-like angles of you face'

He tried to remember her face, it wasn't really coming.

'Then we can share our lives together' he said, his voice shaking a bit at the idea. Them, sitting in a four-poster bed, him biting his lip and looking the other way and her, looking uncomfortable and going on about her collection of exotic snakes.

It wasn't what he had hoped for marriage, but perhaps it would be better than expected, a sort of friendly marriage, one of companionship. Howard ignored the little voice telling him he wanted more, _he wanted true love,_ and continued with his speech.

Howard walked further into the forest, his mind reeling but before long he paused and looked around. He had not come across this part before, it seemed new. Glancing about he stopped and tried to remember what came next.

'So, my cream-filled puff' he continued dramatically, trying to bend down on one knee, failing and falling awkwardly into a nearby shrub.

'I would like to formally ask for your hand in marriage, pending all family tree inquiries naturally, and eagerly await your answer' he fixed a nervous smile onto his face, his eyes twitching and then stood-up, feeling a bit silly.

Howard sat down on a log with his head in his hands. He didn't know what to do. He needed to think, a plan perchance?

He was just coming up with a good one, involving a yard of rope, two twiglets and an olive when he heard a noise, a sound unlike one he had ever heard before.

Someone was singing, he could hear it in the distance.

It sounded bloody awful.

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Howard did not need this, not when he was trying to escape from the claws of forced matrimony, so with a steely determination to his jaw he marched forward, through the clearing and stood, mouth gaping before a tall, grey tower.

'Hi' he shouted up, hearing only a yodelling sort of sound accompanied by a banging sound and a pulsing, off-rhythm beat.

'Hello!?' Howard screamed, resisting the urge to walk up and just kick the tower.

The music suddenly cut-out, with an almost-audible gasp. Howard waited, his foot tapping impatiently. Those foolish fawns thought they could do whatever they wanted, but they couldn't.

A dark head popped out from the window, Howard shielded his eyes from the sun to see.

'Hi!' the dark head said, 'I can't believe it! Someone new!'

Howard frowned. Someone had been licking the toadstool.

'I'm here to complain about the noise' Howard proclaimed.

The dark head made a tutting noise. 'God, my first proper visitor in years and it's a right old codger'

Howard's mouth fell open, how dare they speak to him like that.

'I Sir' he said grandly, 'shall not be talked to in that way'

'Whatever' the voice drawled. 'Just 'cause you don't like my music, go away then!'

'That was music!?' Howard questioned nastily.

The voice made an affronted huffing sound. 'Yeah, it was the new sound actually, combining the electronic genius of Knight Numan and the stylings of Duke Bowie'

Howard rolled his eyes, what an absolute fool. It sounded like the squeaks of a crab with the banging of a chamber pot for backing music.

'Oi, saw that' the voice said, 'I bet your into some right old rubbish, like lutes and mandolins'

'Just because' Howard said, 'I happened to like the woodwind musings Sir, doesn't mean I like rubbish. I' he said, straightening himself proudly, 'Am going to be the first Jazz pioneer'

'Been done mate' said the voice.

'What!' Howard said, incredulously.

'Yeah' the voice said, 'that's proper old school now'

Howard's shoulders slumped. Typical.

'Sorry' the voice said sympathetically.

'It's alright' Howard called up, 'I'll just find a new direction, yes Sir, Howard Moon will discover the new, the alternative'

The voice giggled.

'So, Howard' the voice said, slightly coyly. 'What are you doing then?'

'Just out for a walk' Howard said, boyishly scuffing the floor.

'Whats that like?' the voice asked curiously.

Howard laughed at the little joke, 'Just fine' he said politely, 'How are you today?'

'A bit bored' the voice said, 'it turns out there is only so much you can do with a limited wardrobe'

Howard nodded, not a problem he had. His trousers, boots and tunics were neatly arranged in his small armoire in the castle, colour categorised and with strict notes saying 'Saturday, Morn' and 'Sunday, Jazzercise'

'I suppose so' he said back the voice, wondering who exactly they was.

'D'ya want a sweet' the voice called down, Howard looked up but the sun was too bright so he just nodded and hoped they saw.

'Okay' the voice said, clipping a sweet into a little pouch and asking Leroy, his sparrow friend, to deliver it. 'Thanks mate' he said, stroking the feathers carefully.

The sparrow came close to Howard cocking his head quizzically at him, before seemingly nodding and landing on his shoulder. Howard opened the pouch and took the sweet.

'What is it?' he asked, before putting it into his mouth. He had heard of a girl, taking this apple off a complete stranger, and she had gone into a deep sleep or something, he wasn't sure of the details, the TV had been on mute.

The voice laughed, 'Ain't gonna poison you or nothing, its just a flying saucer'

'Oh' Howard said, munching it companionably and doing up the pouch.

'Thank-you' he said, half to the voice and half to the sparrow who had flew to be back up by the window.

Howard looked up, and could see the voice now the sun had faded; he felt his heart flip over which had never happened to him before.

The voice was beautiful; there was no other word for her. She had huge blue eyes, surrounded by pretty dark lashes, a luminous smile and high cheekbones. She was casually leaning out of the window, her hand gently holding onto the gold curtain and her long dark hair flowing down her back. She was everything at that moment, she was the sun, the moon and the stars, she was every cream poem Howard had ever composed.

'A _Princess_' Howard breathed.

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_**Thanks for reading, please review x**_

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	2. Chapter 2

'Cuse me?' the Princess said, her voice oddly deep. Howard supposed it was the altitude.

'Nothing' Howard shouted quickly, feeling embarrassed.

'So, are you doing anything later?' The voice asked, trying desperately to sound casual. Having no human interaction apart from a scaly manfish made it hard to make friends.

'Um, yeah I've got to this dinner thing' Howard said, picturing Lady Gideon turning up again, as a 'special surprise' wearing that awful green dress and going on and on about her novel.

Suddenly the heavens opened and Howard made a noise of surprise as he was soaked, looking upwards again and squinting as the clouds turned grey.

'Um' he said, looking at the tower which was now looking very warm and cosy.

The Princess had retreated into her tower and was pacing a little, murmuring 'd'ya wanna come up…no that's sounds well corny…um…do you want shelter, oh fair prince?...no that's been done…d'ya want a coffee…haven't got any coffee…Um…Um'. The princess stuck her head out the window, frowning as the rain hit their fringe and happily began to frizz. 'Oh' she said sadly. Howard was gone.

Howard ran through the forest, gingerly side-stepping tree roots and narrowly avoiding falling over a red cape, just laid out where _anyone_ could trip over it. His head was full of sky-blue eyes and he couldn't concentrate properly. Running over the drawbridge and waving to Steve who was on duty he ran upstairs into his room, where he walked in slowly, took off his tunic and laid face down on the bed and sighed.

'So' the King said grandly, wincing as his crown dug into his head, 'Such a special night…I wonder what could possibly happen to make it better!' The king then winked openly at Howard who just frowned and looked back down into his dinner.

He then felt a hand in his lap and jumped, glancing to Lady Gideon with a horrified look, but she just looked confused. Tracing the hand and looking up Howard found himself looking at Lord Gideon, who was raising an eyebrow lewdly at him and making a low comment about 'training him to be a strict ruler'

Closing his eyes he opened them and reaffirmed that he was, in fact, awake. He gulped and moved his hand from him, looking the other way and offering Lady Gideon a refill. She smiled her thanks and after Howard poured it for her he looked around and saw everyone was tip-toeing carefully out of the room, all nodding encouragingly at him, save one who was gesturing to her ring and another – Lord Gideon was mouthing 'call me' and miming a phone.

Lady Gideon looked quite scared and she retreated into her chair.

'Oward' she said, her accent sounding quite distinct in the echoic room.

'Yes' Howard said, looking in his pocket for the ring and sighing on its discovery.

'You, you are going to do it, are you not?' Howard sort of nodded, then shook his head at the last minute.

'What?' he said, trying to sound innocent.

She rolled her eyes, 'You are going to propose, everyone knows it' Howard thought about this, it wasn't much of a secret.

'Shall I…you know get on with it' he said, pushing back his chair and running over his speech in his head. That made him think of the forest, and that the tower and he got quite distracted for a while, thinking of a sunshine smile and he was brought back to earth by Lady Gideon, gently tugging on his sleeve.

'What about…' Lady Gideon started, looking nervous, 'We say we want more time…to think about it. We need to find our other halves Howard, do we not?'

Howard raised his eyebrows, hardly daring to believe it. 'Is there…someone else?' he said, trying to sound jealous but not really trying.

'Sort of' she said, blushing in the fading light.

'Ah' he said knowingly, he had heard the rumours.

'Would you mind awfully?' she said, then she glanced back up at him and her eyes narrowed, 'Oh' she said meaningfully, 'for you, too, there is someone else'

'No!' Howard protested, then his shoulders slumped and an involuntary smile slid onto his face.

'But, the promise of someone else..?' she said, touching his cheek affectionately.

'Yes' Howard said, 'there is always that'

'So, my Prince Charming' she said teasingly, picking up a glass and toasting him.

'We shall drink to the promise, the promise of that most elusive Love?'

'Agreed' said Howard, clinking his glass and downing it in a gulp.

xxxxx

Vince was half-asleep, his eyelids gradually closing then opening again as he heard a noise outside. A sort of rustle, the sound of an owl hooting. His eyes widened as he rolled over, he knew he was in no danger, being so high up, but he was still afraid. He only knew what Old Gregg told him, and he said people were scary, horrible people who hurt you. However, Leroy and his other animal friends and told him differently, stories about lands far away filled with gently swaying sunflowers and waves that crash against the shore – so he had remained optimistic.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes, flattening down his hair and throwing his legs over the side of the bed. Tugging down his neon sleepwear he wandered over to the window, his cold toes on the stone making him wince. Vince looked out and saw a figure bumbling through the forest, careering into a tree and muttering an expletive.

'Hello?' he half-whispered cautiously, hoping it wasn't those kids again, always after sweets and dropping litter everywhere.

'Howdy…I mean…Bonjour!' said the voice, sounding confused, and hiccoughing slightly.

'Um, who's there?' Vince said, biting his thumbnail and wishing to go back to sleepie.

'It's me, Howard…Prince of…somewhere…over there maybe' said Howard, tripping over a rock and falling onto the ground with an oof.

'Are you alright?' asked Vince, hearing the noise.

'Yeah' said Howard, 'Its me…I'm a man of action, I can scale Jungles…Deserts...Car parks…all very easy to a man like me;

Vince laughed delightedly, and leaned over the windowsill.

'I have a proposession…'Howard called, frowning then trying again, 'A present…a propresent' he continued to mumble under his breath

Vince frowned, 'you've gone a what?'

'Ah you sound like music' Howard said, gesturing towards Vince and smiling moonily.

'I need to tell you' Howard continued, comically whispering in an urgent tone.

'What?' Vince said, what could he possibly have to say?

'Well, could I come up…up the stairs?' Howard asked beseeching, the moon came out from behind the clouds and suddenly he could see the tower properly, and he looked bewildered as he walked round it, looking for a door but not finding any form of entrance.

'_When you're the moon people don't bother inviting you to their parties…this one girl she was on this wheel thing, and she got blood on her and went 'ooh I am tired' and she just went to sleep…for ages. But I stayed awake. I'm the moon'_

'Door being refitted' Vince said quickly, 'you know how those builders are…mucking about making houses for pigs…Oooh I want one made of straw…no wood…no brick' Vince shook his head and laughed, 'Crazy times'.

Howard, now starting to get a headache sat back down on the ground. 'You need to join some kind of union' he supplied lamely.

'Um, there is another way' Vince said timidly.

Howard looked up hopefully. 'So I can come and show you my idea?'

Vince felt his heart flip but he ignored it, 'Alright, just for a bit though, and you can't tell anyone, okay…?'

Howard nodded.

'Howard?' Vince called.

'Sorry, I am here' Howard said, 'What is it? Some flying Unicorn?' he laughed.

'Nah, she's on holiday for a bit, it's my hair'

Howard frowned, 'Excuse me?'

Vince huffed and pointed at his locks. 'See, it's dead long, and you can climb up it – genius right?'

'So. That is the big idea?' Howard said incredulously. 'I climb up your _hair'_

'I know' Vince said, 'its okay to be a bit overwhelmed, it is a big deal'

Howard rolled his eyes, for a Princess she was a bit conceited.

He stood closer, tried to clear his head.

'Oooh, it's soft' he said to himself, surprised.

'Are you going to be okay?' Howard called up, concerned.

'Yeah' Vince said, 'I'm used to it, it's totally fine'

Howard nodded and took hold and put his feet on the tower, as he slowly and carefully began to climb. Halfway up he looked down, instantly regretting it and closing his eyes as his vision began to swim.

'God, come on' Vince whined, 'Your taking ages'.

Howard steeled himself to continue, then upon reaching the top he misjudged the window ledge and ended up half-falling half-flying over the ledge and ended up landing on top of the Princess.

The Princess's eyes were wide in shock as she blinked rapidly up at Howard, who gulped. Her hair was framed round her face; her fringe trailing into her eyes, Howard's fingers itched to stroke it back into place. She was breathing heavily and her bright attire was making him feel dizzy. He wondered briefly why he wasn't moving, why he suddenly didn't want to move. The Princess opened her mouth to say something then promptly closed it again.

'Howard Moon' Howard said politely, 'Prince-in-training, bookmark enthusiast and I've got a most urgent preposition for you…'


	3. Chapter 3

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**_Thanks for the kind comments, so far! X_**

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'Have you indeed, Howard Moon?' Vince said, eyes twinkling as he laughed.

Howard looked down then flushed and sat himself up, brushing invisible dirt from his clothes.

'I wondered if you would help me' Howard said, standing up and wincing as his knees cracked.

'With what?' said Vince, noticing how Howard's hair brushed softly over his collar. He suddenly wanted to pull down the collar and kiss the skin there.

'Well, I have to marry someone I do not love' Howard said, looking dramatically out the open window. Vince frowned, walked forwards and looked out the window, trying to see what Howard was looking at.

Howard tutted, 'Its for effect!'

'Ah' Vince said, sitting down on the bed and smiling up at Howard prettily.

Howard cleared his throat, feeling nervous. He sat down on the bed next to Vince, feeling his breath hitch in his throat as Vince shifted slightly to face hin.

'So to convince my parents we are not to be…I need to find someone…a Princess…' he said, nodding bashfully at Vince, 'to pretend, just for a short while you understand to be my girlfriend so they leave me alone'.

Vince's mouth gaped. He couldn't believe it. Pretending to be someone's _girlfriend_?! Wait a moment…did Howard think he was a _Princess_?

Stifling the urge to laugh he looked up at Howard to set him straight, but seeing the sad look in his eyes, his heart melted and he suddenly imagined telling Howard the truth, only to see him disappear, maybe he would never see him again.

'Okay' he said simply, feeling bad for lying but thrilled to see Howard's face light up. Howard lifted his hand and kissed it.

'Oh thank-you' he said gratefully, 'Princess…?'

'Verina' Vince said, trying to think of a name.

'Verina' Howard said, trying it out and making Vince smile with his earnest expression. 'May I call you Verina Princess?'

Vince laughed, 'Of course' he said. 'What do you need me to do?'

'Well…meet my parents, be seen with me, that kind of thing' Howard said, standing and ruffling the back of his hair.

'Oh' Vince said, instantly seeing a problem. 'You see…I sort of can't leave this tower' he said, glancing down at the floor.

'Why?' Howard asked, then he nodded solemnly thinking of the tales of his boyhood, moving forward and clasping her hand.

'Is there a curse? Some sort of spell?'

Vince looked at Howard and decided to tell him the truth, well he thought he was a _girl_, more lies wouldn't help matters.

'I'm sort of trapped' he said, 'I was brought her as a baby, and kept here by a…well its undecided what he is…but he keeps me here, he sort of looks after me. He wants me to join his band someday soon and spread the message of funk throughout the land'

Howard looked aghast, then strangely impressed at the mention of funk.

'Funk you say' he murmured, looking wistful. Vince looked crestfallen.

'That, of course is no consequence' he remedied hastily, 'I cannot believe, have you no-one to tell, nothing to do here?'

'Yeah' Vince sighed, 'It's a bit hard to be fantastically stylish when you're by yourself' he said, 'the occasional Ninja is company, but it's not a proper friendship is it? You're probably the first proper friend I've had…I mean, we're friends aren't we Howard?'

Howard nodded, feeling touched. Patting his hand gently he let it go, leaving Vince feeling bereft.

'What about if we snuck out' Howard said, looking out the window, 'I mean, when does he come to check on you?'

'Every day at exactly 8am' Vince said, 'its murder getting up that early, honest to Jagger'

Howard nodded although he personally enjoyed an early start; it was good to get a prompt start on the morn's duties.

'Well, then what about if you come and meet my family at night, there is a ball tomorrow night and we can tell everyone we're together then?'

Vince nodded, 'But I haven't got anything to wear' he sighed.

'What about that woman, the fairy?'

Vince rolled his eyes, 'don't get me started Howard, I booked her _ages_ ago for something and she never turned up, was helping this bird with vegetable transport stupid see-through shoes, and they are well out of fashion'

'Well my family are no respecters of trends' Howard said grandly, 'they are honest, simple folk'

'Royalty' Vince said, bemused.

'Ah, yes, but down to earth' Howard said, smiling.

'Who are you avoiding marrying?' Vince asked his tone low and intimate, lulling Howard into honesty.

'She's a nice woman' Howard said thoughtfully, 'I just…don't love her and she doesn't love me, and we don't want to get married just for convenience'.

Vince bit his bottom lip, 'Okay' he said. 'But, what if they don't like me, or believe it?'

'Verina' Howard said seriously, 'the only thing they wouldn't believe is that someone who looks as beautiful as you would be with me'

Vince laughed, 'That is true' he said teasingly, standing up and poking Howard's tummy mischievously.

Howard laughed too, knocking Vince's shoulder but misjudging his size and sending him sprawling into the sheets.

'Oh Lord, forgive me' Howard said, frantically trying to help Vince up, but ungallantly noticing he was a bit flat chested, not something he would ever mention, but something that stood out with her tight apparel. Blushing and mumbling apologises he stood up and moved around the room, embarrassed.

'It's alright' said Vince, feeling his whole body rush, a feeling he had never felt before. Suddenly he felt like he could do anything, jump from the tower, go against Old Gregg's plans for him. He could be anyone, anything he wanted. He could make friends, travel the world, feel this rush of happiness again. Maybe he could find his true love, live happily ever after, it could happen. It was as if meeting Howard, realising there was a world out there, a real world, just waiting to be explored, had awoken something within him. A craving for more.

'He doesn't…he doesn't hurt you does he Princess?' Howard said falteringly, torn between wanting to know and wanting to remain in blissful ignorance.

'No, no' Vince said reassuringly, plucking the soft satin of his pillowcase between his fingers. 'He's just a bit strict, and he does look after me. Sometimes I feel sorry for him'

'Sorry!?' Howard said, amazed, 'But he captured you, blackmailed your family'

'I know' Vince said, 'But I've had years to plan an escape, and why haven't I? I've been waiting for someone to rescue me, maybe I should have rescued myself' he said, trailing off mournfully.

'But the Princess is supposed to be rescued' Howard said, deeply confused. Vince looked up and did a silent Aww at his adorably lost expression.

'If I bring you silk rope, we could make a ladder' Howard said, turning to the window and trying to measure how much it would take.

'Oooh, in blue?' Vince said excitedly, 'with silver stars?'

'Does that really matter?' Howard asked.

'Well yeah…its my first trip out of here, I want to make an impact'

'No, you don't, we are sneaking out, we need to be careful'

Vince nodded, his eyes widening. 'Okay, I promise'.

'So, tomorrow?' Howard asked, feeling shy. Like 8ish?

Vince went pink and stood up, raising his cheek to Howard.

Howard kissed it. 'May the night pass in a haze of stars' he said romantically whilst winking cheekily, as Vince lowered his head and let his hair down.

'Wait a minute' said Howard, as he reached the end of his descent.

'What's in it for you?'

'The promise of something…someone else' Vince said softly, so quietly Howard strained to hear it. Howard nodded, deep in thought and walked away, after pressing a soft kiss to Vince's hair.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


	4. Chapter 4

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**I was reminded I needed to post the remaining chapters! Hope you like! xxx**

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Vince bit his lip as took his sequin bedspread and winced as he tore the material. It felt like a crime. His woodland friends were of no help, one of them was into 1930's fashion and the other was a naturist so had no idea of sizing or tailoring.

Breathing out, and telling himself the worst was over he began to carefully began to unpick the stitches, using a bee-sting as a needle. Holding the first fragment against himself and tilting his head thoughtfully he smiled.

'Darling' The Queen said, moving towards Howard conspiratorially and lowering her voice, 'the curtains…do they look short to you?'

Howard pretended to study then, seeing in his head the new, yellow brocade fabric being used as a rope, waiting in the Princess's room, waiting to be used.

'No, not at all Mother' he said, 'they look beautiful, everyone will admire your keen eye for decorating'

Smiling indulgently and patting his hand the Queen looked at Howard.

'So' she began, looking nervous, 'we finally get to meet her then, after all the hoopla' she raised an eyebrow and Howard made a face.

'Yes, well Lady Gideon and I both agreed to look elsewhere for life partners' he said, 'and then I was told of the Princess, and she..' he faltered, his gaze turning wistful. 'She needs to be rescued'.

The Queen's face softened. 'Don't we all darling' she said quietly, before moving off to enquire about the band.

Time had passed so quickly, since their first meetings, with Howard trying to teach the Princess about the real world.

xxxxx

'_What?' Vince screeched, his face screwing up._

'_Yes' Howard said seriously._

'_Like, it's not even in?' Vince said._

'_Well no, the style for ladies is shoulder-length, usually in some kind of bun…'_

_Vince began to hyperventilate._

'_I…am….not…in….style?' he said, his mouth gaping unattractively._

_Howard shifted uncomfortably._

'_You still look lovely' he said shyly, looking the other way in embarrassment._

'_Oh' Vince said softly. 'That's alright then'._

_xxxxx_

Howard looked around the lavish room, filling up quickly with people. Not long now, not long till he saw the Princess. Feeling his heart constrict with something he couldn't place he moved from one foot to the other anxiously, flattening down the collar of his suit jacket and rubbing the back of his neck.

xxxxx

_Vince and Howard laid on the cold stone floor of Vince's tower. The sun was lazily streaming through the open window and a fresh breeze was rushing over their faces, eyes closed and breathing evenly._

'_So, what next' Vince asked Howard, rolling over to face him._

'_I don't know' Howard answered honestly. 'I just knew I didn't want to marry her, and I didn't think of anything else'_

'_Well I think that's okay' Vince said, 'you don't need to know right now, you only need to know what you really want, and what you don't. Everything else will fall into place'_

_Howard nodded. _

'_What about you Princess?' he asked. 'You don't know how to break the curse, you cannot leave this tower for longer than a couple of hours, for fear of Old Gregg's hold over you'_

_Vince nodded, 'I don't know what he is capable of' he said, worried. 'I know that I have a spell of protection over me, from my Mother, but I don't know what he would do to them. But once the curse is broken, he will not be able to harm any of us any longer' Vince breathed out shakily and felt Howard move over to hold his hand._

_xxxx  
_

It hadn't been easy, teaching her royal protocol and getting her to try anything else but fizzy pop and sweets had been a challenge, and she claimed to be deeply allergic to any kind of green food.

xxx

'_It's not my fault Howard' Vince said, looking angry, 'I just don't like anything from the ground'_

_Howard rolled his eyes at these theatrics. He had just witnessed a hissy fit rivalling his great aunts, who if rumours are to be believed, once fought over a stupid shoe for a man. He had seen the portraits in the great hall, they needed more than a shoe._

'_But its good for you' he said, gesturing at the wicker basket, filled with fresh vegetables and fruit._

'_Looks horrible' Vince said disdainfully, eying up a carrot and frowning._

'_Look' Howard said, losing patience as he laid down a red chequered picnic blanket. Weren't Princesses supposed to be filled with grace and patience? This one moaned all the time, and fell over her silly shoes._

'_Look, try this; it's the same flavour as your sweets' he passed Vince a strawberry._

'_It's alright' Vince said, taking a tiny nibble. 'A bit full of chemicals'_

_Howard rolled his eyes, 'Whereas your sweets are fresh from the heavens, Miss!'_

_Vince laughed, 'Shut-up small eyes'_

'_How dare you!' Howard said indignantly, 'I have the perfect sized eyes'_

_Then he remembered back to a childhood birthday. He had been presented with a gift of truth, and looking into a mirror was told by the inhabitant that he was 'lacking in facial features, and his eyes were like raisins in a scone'_

_Frowning he sat back down on the Princess's bed. He was never made fun of. Everyone told him he was handsome and accomplished. Well, someone had once admired his cufflinks, and that was the same thing, really._

_Then he looked up, and unexpectantly laughed. 'Well, you seem to have your own eyes, and half of mine! I want my half back, yes Miss!'_

_Vince laughed and moved backwards, holding his hands up in defence. 'No way' he said, grinning, 'They're all mine now Prince Howard'_

_Howard moved closer, raising his arms threateningly. Vince giggled until he was backed up against the wall._

'_Come and get it' he said softly, feeling something in the air change._

_Then his whole world changed, as he saw Howard's eyes flicker down to his mouth._

xxxx

Vince had forgotten the time and was surprised and afraid when he heard the familiar voice of Old Gregg, beseeching him to extend his locks.

'Um, yeah...just a minute' he said, frantically miming into the air and looking around to hide the sequins, the ladder and his flowers. Howard had taken to bringing him a flower with every visit, and he now had a vase full of blooms, all different but all beautiful.

Throwing the clothes under his bed, the ladder under his pillow and the flowers in his wardrobe he moved over, throwing his hair over.

Old Gregg shimmied his way up, grinning cheerily at Vince.

'So, I hope you've been working on the Funk' he said, a glint in his eyes betraying his happy smile.

'I have' Vince lied, nodding. Then he touched his hair, 'God, its so tangled' he sighed, 'and you pulled it coming up, Howard doesn't do that'.

Suddenly Vince froze, his sharp intake of breath startling Old Gregg into anger.

'What?' he asked, quiet and deadly.

'Howard, he's a squirrel who visits me' Vince said quickly, gesturing outside and smiling pleadingly, although his stomach was churning and he felt desperately fearful.

'Liar' Old Gregg hissed, advancing forwards menacingly.

Vince's eyes widened and he backed away.

'He's a Prince' Old Gregg, 'and what the hell would he want with you, Sir?'

'Nothing, we're friends' Vince supplied lamely.

Old Gregg frowned, his red lips shining in the dimming light.

'I doubt that' he said, 'I heard he wants a Princess…' Old Gregg laughed then, short and mocking.

'He doesn't…think…' Old Gregg trailed off, looking intently into Vince's face as he did his usual lolloping walk forward.

'Oh Vince' he said, nastily, 'You're just a poor boy I am using for my own gain, you think you deserve happiness? You don't. You are just Old Gregg's robotic frontman'.

Vince shook his head. 'I'm not, I am more' he said defiantly.

'So what did you think' Old Gregg said, 'That he was going to _love you_, _marry you_, that you would' he paused and laughed so horribly Vince felt his heart sink and he felt tears well up in his eyes, '_Live happily ever after_?'

'He would…he could' Vince said, his strength fading as he sunk to the floor, overcome.

'Well he won't now' Old Gregg said, taking a knife from his pocket and sliding the blade against the netting of his tutu slowly.

'Not once Old Gregg is done with you. Sir.'


	5. Chapter 5

Howard stood against the wall, biting his lip anxiously. _Why wasn't she here yet?_

Lady Gideon walked by him, raising her eyebrows meaningfully at his lack of a princess. Howard just rolled his eyes and motioned to his watch – an amazing display of his miming skills, considering watches hadn't even been _invented_ yet.

Lady Gideon smiled kindly at him and moved on, picking up a stick of celery and chewing on it thoughtfully as she looked upon the band and tapped her feet to the beat.

A man with an impressive moustache and a voice so deep and melodious it could be heard from across the ballroom approached Howard, smirking smugly at him and tilting his head. It was Duke Bainbridge of a neighbouring kingdom. According to local legend, to hazard upon his given name would result in a dramatic hissy-fit, the likes of which would lead to a boot stamping through a floor.

Eyeing the expensive wooden flooring beneath his feet, Howard decided to stick with no informal introductions. Not that he was a coward, you understand, but for the sake of the architecture. After all, you take a brick, you put it down; very soon you've got yourself a town.

'Where is your fine filly then, Moon?' Bainbridge asked, knocking back his glass of champagne and wiping his mouth uncouthly.

'Coming, Sir' Howard said curtly, looking around the man for a distraction.

'I heard she's…not like other women,' Bainbridge said, pretending to whisper but in fact talking louder.

Howard looked the man up and down. His green coat was a little dirty and frayed and his cuffs were grey. Meeting his gaze and feeling a rush of triumph as the other man flushed, Howard straightened his shoulders.

'You are correct, as she is, Sir, completely unique,' he said softly, turning smartly on his heel and walking the other way.

xxxxxxxx

_Vince laughed as Howard twirled him._

'_I can't breathe Howard; all my puff has gone and joined the circus,' he panted, bending his knees slightly._

'_You need to,' Howard said, stopping himself from adding 'darling' at the last moment._

'_So that's it for the fast ones, yeah?' Vince asked, straightening his tunic and looking over at Howard's gramophone._

_Howard was impressed; the Princess had natural rhythm and picked everything up so quickly._

'_Done?' Vince asked, rubbing his foot gingerly; these platforms were a nightmare to dance in. No wonder Old Gregg wore flats._

'_No' Howard said. 'There is a tradition in my family…'_

'_I know the Okie-Cokie,' Vince said proudly, 'Leroy taught me that.'_

'_No,' said Howard, laughing. 'It's a sort of slow-dance— you dance it with the one you love, to show everyone you are together. The music was composed for my ancestors hundreds of years ago.'_

_Vince looked impressed, and a little worried. 'Okay,' he said, moving closer expectantly._

'_So,' Howard said, his mouth suddenly going dry. He took Vince's hand and put it on his shoulder._

_Vince looked up at him through his fringe. 'What next?' he asked softly._

'_Well, my hand goes there,' Howard said, motioning to his waist and looking steadfastly ahead._

'_Okay,' Vince said, his breath hitching as Howard's arm moved 'round his waist and he felt the skin burn._

'_And we…we take hands,' Howard spoke softly, clasping Vince's fingers in his._

'_One… two… three…' Howard moved Vince around the small tower and laughing as Vince stumbled a little, looking upwards and feeling embarrassed._

'_Shut up small eyes,' he said teasingly, 'I've never done this before.'_

'_No, you are very good, you have natural grace,' Howard redeemed quickly, 'I was just going to suggest you dance on my feet to get the rhythm?'_

_Vince's eyes lit up as he carefully stood on Howard's shoes and was led about, clinging with one arm now 'round Howard's neck and the other pressed to his chest._

'_So we can do our own version,' Vince said, his eyes lighting up as Howard experimentally tried a little spin. 'A new take on the tradition, yeah, Howard?'_

_xxxxxxxx  
_

Vince stared into the mirror, his cheeks tearstained and his eyes red.

'Old Gregg had to do it,' Old Gregg said, his eyes mournful despite his bright smile. He then shifted the thick lock of hair into his other hand and pulled a strand tight, smiling wider as it broke.

Vince didn't reply, and Old Gregg wandered over to the window.

'Now,' Old Gregg said forcefully, 'You will be going now. You have betrayed me, betrayed Old Gregg, and you will be cast into the wilderness.'

'I don't care,' said Vince, his expression unchanging. 'I don't care anymore.'

Suddenly his shoulder was grasped tightly in Old Gregg's clammy grip, and he was dragged upwards.

'You won't survive,' Old Gregg assured him, 'you won't last two minutes, Vincey, with the wolves, and until you break my spell— which you won't— you will never see your family ever again. You could walk by them, and not know each other.' Old Gregg laughed at this, his mocking tone ringing through the turret.

Vince continued to stare determinedly into the mirror, trying not to dwell on his impending loneliness. That's what would kill him. Not the animals, the lack of proper hair supplies and sugar – but being alone, without hope.

'Now, Vince,' Old Gregg said, dragging a fingernail down his cheek and making Vince feel nauseous. 'You need to go now, yes Sir'.

xxxxx

'_Howard, may I ask you something?' Vince said, lying back on his bed and sighing. _

_Howard felt his heart skip a beat._

'_Yes,' he replied, a bit too hurriedly._

'_Well, you know how you were supposed to marry that girl, but you didn't because you wanted to marry someone you love?' Vince trailed off wistfully._

'_Yes' Howard muttered._

'_Well, how do you know?_

'_Know what?'_

'_What d'ya think I mean? When you're in love.'_

_Howard thought for a moment._

'_Well, you can't stop thinking about them; everything reminds you of them and you want to be with them, near them all the time'_

_Vince gave a noise of assent._

'_And' Howard continued, feeling his cheeks grow warm, 'you can see yourself with them; getting older, maybe having a family, just being together whatever happens. There is no one else, really.''_

_Wishing he was closer to Howard, although just hearing his lovely voice talk like that was like a soothing lullaby to him, Vince closed his eyes._

'_And sometimes it sneaks up on you, and you don't realise' Howard continued softly, 'and it surprises you, that you could feel like that for someone who maybe isn't who you thought they would be'. _

_Howard moved over to the window and watched as the sun sank into the horizon, the orange light filtering through waves of white cloud._

'_And it's hard to tell them, too hard, that everything has changed and you now need them, that you want to protect them, and be with them'.. _

_Howard turned around as Vince snuffled into his pillow. _

_Howard moved forwards and to cover Vince with a blanket, standing back and moving his fringe from his eyes tenderly._

'_I think I would love you, even if you weren't a Princess' Howard whispered._

_xxxxxx_

The ballroom had never looked more beautiful; purple banners draped across the staircase, the chandelier twinkling up above, and the band softly playing for swaying couples. This was all lost on Howard, who stood at the window, gazing out into the dark night.

'So, you don't want my daughter?' said a voice, whispering into Howard's ear.

Howard shivered unpleasantly. Lord Gideon.

'No, Sir,' he said, turning around and starting, as Lord Gideon was suddenly too close.

Lord Gideon raised an eyebrow. 'Not your… type,' he said, winking at Howard and bringing an arm up, so he was leaning into Howard.

'We are not meant for each other,' Howard said, moving backwards and feeling his back touch the cold glass of the window frame. 'You are…not my type, no Sir'.

'Maybe you need to explore what your type is,' Lord Gideon said furtively as he ran his hand up Howard's leg, causing Howard's mouth to fall open in shock.

'How dare you!' Howard stammered, removing Lord Gideon's hand from its upward journey and rubbing his neck anxiously. 'Even if I was… that way inclined,' Howard said, his face flushing, 'I wouldn't go for you Sir, ever.'

Lord Gideon tilted his head. 'Mmm, I half disagree,' he said slowly. 'You'll see Moon, you'll see,' and he wandered off, stroking the back of a passing waiter who dropped his tray with a loud clang.

Howard breathed out unsteadily, and returned his gaze to the window, wondering what he should do.

xxxx

'_So, what are you going to do?' Vince said, his voice sounding tight, 'when it's all over, when your parents give you a bit of breathing room?'_

'_I was thinking maybe I could travel for a bit,' Howard said, looking out of the window, then turning back and casually crossing his ankles._

_Vince's heart hurt to look at him, his face glowing from the sunset and his strong, broad shoulders resting against the stone. His hair was ruffled from the breeze, and his mouth curled up into a smile._

'_I haven't seen much of the kingdom, and I want to see things, experience things. I guess you made me realise the importance of living life,' Howard said, gesturing at Vince, who ducked his head shyly._

'_That sounds genius,' he said, enviously. _

'_Maybe you could… if you don't have any… I would love…' Howard began. Vince looked up, hoping, but suddenly the latest Cheekbone came flying over Howard's head and hit Vince on his chest. _

'_Oww!' he said angrily, rubbing his sternum. 'That hurt like a motherbitch!'_

_Howard's mouth fell open and he promptly forgot what he was going to say._

_xxxx  
_

After several pointed questions about his 'special someone' Howard admitted defeat and wandered into the garden. The Queen had put up pretty paper lanterns and they shone amongst the trees, their pink, blue and orange light mixing together on the grass.

Howard asked himself why she didn't come; perhaps she had changed her mind? He sighed. Maybe he had wanted it all to be real so much; the dancing, the afternoons spent together, the moments when he felt his heart skip a beat. Maybe he had wanted it so much it had been blinded him to the reality.

But a little voice told him differently. He remembered the look on her face, when he had twirled her, the way she laughed when he informed her of novels without pictures, the way she had trusted him_. The possibility of someone else._

Howard turned around suddenly, his pulse racing. No, it was all real, he just knew it. They only way she wouldn't have come…

Would be if someone had stopped her.


	6. Chapter 6

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_**This is the last bit! I hope you love it :D Please review! xxx**_

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Howard froze for a moment, then valiantly recovered and strode forward, pushing blindly through the crowd, and ignoring noises of protest.

'Howard?' his mother said, approaching him warily.

'Mother' he answered, breathily heavily, 'its time; I have to go rescue her'

She studied his face for a moment, 'I think it is, my darling' she replied, stepping back and blowing a kiss at his departing back.

Howard ran blindly outside, then, upon looking into the distance decided to go by horseback, for extra authenticity. Then he made a face as he noticed that the stable wasn't empty; this was going to be _awkward_.

'Hello, I mean, Prince...' the stableboy stuttered, looking uncomfortable.

'I think we're past that' Howard said, reaching for the tack and placing the saddle on his horse's back. He smiled a wry smile as the stableboy laughed.

'Out for a ride?' he asked, helping Howard with the reins.

Howard paused, 'You could say that, I am going to rescue someone, well really she rescued me'

The man looked surprised, 'She…?'

Howard went pink, 'Yeah well…things change' he said, swinging his leg over the horse's back and settling himself before riding off.

The stableboy tilted his head, sighed and then laughed.

'Some things don't though' he said into the night, 'Some things don't'

Vince looked appraisingly around the shelter he had managed to construct with two acorns, a stick and a leaf. It was pretty good, managing to keep him warm from the cold. Humming and trying to keep his spirits up he wondered what to do about food; he only ever ate sweets.

'Oooh' he said suddenly, whistling for Leroy, who flew to the roof of his shelter.

'Leroy' he said, stroking his wings gently, 'I just remembered, I eat vegetables now. Will you go and get me something, please?'

Leroy argued for a moment, saying that it was the theft of vegetables that got them into this whole mess, with Bryan Ferry's foraging of the past, but obligingly flew off into the distance.

Vince sighed and rested his head against the wall, being careful not to dislodge the stick. It was a good job he never told Old Gregg about being able to talk to animals; otherwise he would have been miserable.

It was quite good being outside, exploring, and being out of the tower. He would have loved it in fact, if he didn't feel this overwhelming _ache_. He kept seeing Howard in his head, seeing him wonder why he didn't come, doubting him, maybe thinking Vince never wanted to com. Biting his lip Vince tried to think of something else, but it wasn't working. Howard being made to dance with someone he didn't like, maybe even consenting to marry that woman.

xxxxx

'_You can tell me' Vince said convincingly, tilting his head and smiling his best smile._

'_Its not…for a lady's ears' Howard said falteringly._

_Vince suppressed the urge to roll his eyes at this, but instead nodded._

'_I knew you would understand, Princess'_

'_You know Howard' Vince began nervously, 'I was meaning to tell you, Old Gregg is trying out a new stage name for me, and you need to call me it, to see if it's good enough'.'_

_Howard nodded politely, 'Okay, what is it?'_

'_Vince' Vince said quickly, trying to look calm._

'_Vince' Howard mused, trying it out, 'I like it, its different, suits you'_

_Vince smiled happily and decided to try again with Howard's secret love life._

'_But, I still need to know about the world Howard, and knowing of this, your first love…'_

'_He wasn't my first love, I didn't love him' Howard said quickly, and too loudly._

_Vince's eyes widened dramatically, 'He!' he squealed, his voice for once sounding high-pitched._

_Howard stepped backwards, as if the words had surprised him too._

'_Well…we were young…it was the 1260's, everyone was doing it'_

_Vince nodded numbly, wondering when it got so hot in the tower._

_xxxxxxx  
_

Howard rode through the forest, pushing the branches from his face and complaining about paying good money in taxes for bracken to remain wild.

He was just figuring out his bearings when a bird swooped down in front of him, completely obstructing his view. The horse reared up in panic at the fluttering wings and Howard fell clumsily from the horse and onto his back with a loud 'Oof' echoing amongst the trees as the horse ran away.

The bird made a tweeting noise, sounding frantic and continued to fly in Howard's face.

'Why…stop it…you're ruining my hair' Howard said, flapping his hands and whining.

The bird almost seemed to roll its tiny eyes.

Then Howard moved back and re-focused his eyes, 'Wait a minute…aren't you Vince's bird, her pet?'

If Leroy could have communicated with this gangly fool, he would have told him he wasn't anyone's pet, he just liked Vince, he was a sweet boy. Due to Howard's lack of ability he just flew up and down, trying to assure him of his identity.

'Why are you here, is she okay? I am coming to find her'

Leroy inwardly screamed at this, flying into Howard's face and tapping his nose with his beak.

'So, that's the right thing to do, she's waiting…?' Howard asked, getting to his feet and dusting down his breeches.

Leroy tried to tell Howard not to go, but it was in vain. So, instead he did a loop in the air, and flew as fast as he could, back to Vince.

Howard, pleased with his ability to talk to anyone, he was a man of the people after all, started to walk towards the clearing, seeing the tower in the distance, its cold stone walls almost glistening in the night.

If he listened carefully, almost hear…some sort of funk?

xxxx

'_Don't you ever get lonely?' Howard asked, picking up a bootlace and idly running in through his fingers._

'_Don't' waste it' Vince chided, moving down and slurping it down like spaghetti._

_Howard looked at him expectantly._

'_Sometimes' Vince said quietly, 'But I have the animals, and Old Gregg' he grimaced, 'although he's not one for conversation, know what I mean? He just goes on about alcohol and Art'_

_Howard didn't think this sounded so bad, but let Vince continue._

_Vince was at her most beautiful when animated, her hair swishing against her face as she talked, her hands forming shapes in the air as she gestured. _

'_But I didn't realise what I was missing out on, until you came along' Vince finished shyly, casting his gaze downwards as he took another bootlace and plaited it into his hair._

_xxxxx  
_

Vince had ventured out from his shelter, and was making a daisy-chain, squinting in the darkness when Leroy flew into his vision, yelling at him.

Vince jumped up, as a sense of dread descended onto him.

'Howard….going…to see' Leroy panted out, his beak moving rapidly, 'Old Gregg…going to get you…but you're…here…help him'

'Oh Christy' Vince said, moving from foot to foot as the adrenaline rushed through him, 'What do I do? I don't know what to do, do I? I ain't ever rescued no-one!'

Leroy came closed and sharply slapped his cheeks with his wings.

Vince sank to the ground, his eyes glazed, 'Thanks Leroy, I needed that'

A Moment passed and then Leroy patiently explained what had happened.

'But if I go near him, he will kill me, probably both of us, and then my family' Vince said, his heart despairing.

'But the curse, maybe there is a counter-spell, someone must be able to help' Leroy chirruped.

'That shaman, he's gone away, someone's stag night' Vince deplored.

Vince raised his head, 'I need to go, don't I' he said, more to himself than anyone, 'I can't be afraid anymore, of this hold he has on me, threatening to destroy all those I….those I _love_'

And with that Vince got to his feet and started to run.

xxxxx

_Vince scooped up some of his dark hair in his hand and half-pouted in the mirror, turning to one side and assessing his appearance._

'_What d'ya think?' he asked Howard._

'_About what?' Howard asked, bemused._

_Vince sighed dramatically, 'the hair, like shorter?'_

'_How short? I like your hair'_

'_Like…shoulder length maybe, kicking up a bit?'_

'_Sounds nice, but what would you do?'_

'_Maybe like trim this bit, straighten the rest, or maybe curl the ends..?'_

'_No' Howard rolled his eyes, 'I mean, how would I, Old Gregg come see you?'_

'_Oh' Vince's eyes widened in dawning comprehension. 'Forget it then'_

_xxxxx  
_

Howard, bent double and puffing looked blearily to the tower.

'Princess…' he started, before wheezing, 'Oh Vince, let down your hair'

There was a discernable pause, and the wind rushed over Howard's back, making him shiver.

With no comment. Vince's hair came tumbling down the wall. Howard took hold and started to climb, feeling like the hair was less strong than usual. Perhaps Vince was out of Goth juice.

Howard clung onto the frame and hoisted himself up, expecting to see Vince's face, the only face he wanted to see. Instead he saw bright red lips, an inane green and shimmering, wet seaweed hair.

'Hello there Sir' the creature said, lumbering oddly forward and brushing his shoulder with a webbed hand.

'Um, Hello there Sir' Howard replied, 'I am here…' he paused awkwardly, 'to pick up…because I got lost' he stumbled over his excuse and looked beseechingly into the creature's cold, dead eyes.

'Lost? Up a tower? Old Gregg doesn't believe you, handsome gentleman' the creature tilted his head comically and blinked twice in close succession.

Flattered by the compliment, but not liking the speaker Howard backed off slowly, then suddenly spoke.

'But, the hair, what happened? With an icy chill to the heart Howard looked over to the window, where Vince's beautiful hair lay tied to a chair, which presumably had took his weight.

'Vince went against Old Gregg' he said, walking over to the plaited hair and winding his fingers around it, slowly. Howard wanted to throw his hands from it, how dare he touch it?

'Where is she?' he said quietly and firmly.

'Gone, far, far away' Old Gregg said, 'now you can stay with Old Gregg; maybe have a shoe of Baileys? He finished speaking hopefully, gesturing to a bottle on the dressing table. Howard saw, with a tightening in his chest, Vince's flowers were wilting.

'No, I do not want that, now where is Vince?'

Old Gregg looked frustrated and strangely cross, and he adjusted his tutu.

'But Old Gregg is nicer; I am a fine, modern gentleman. Make you a lovely Princess, I have a mangina'

Howard tried to process this, but failed.

'I am not…into that kind of thing' he said, straightening his broad shoulders and looking for escape.

Old Gregg's eyes narrowed, and he moved towards Howard.

'I think you, my fuzzy man peach, should reconsider, because you don't want to be…hurt do you?'

Howard frowned, and suddenly realised why Vince was so afraid, Old Gregg was unhinged, clearly capable of anything.

Wary of upsetting him, Howard awkwardly smiled and sat down on the bed, patting it as a gesture to Old Gregg, who sat down with a ladylike giggle.

'Oh Prince Howard' he tinkled gaily, 'I knew you would come around'

Howard smiled gamely, 'Now, why did you trap Vince?'

Old Gregg but looked sceptical, but decided to trust his future groom.

'Well, Old Gregg caught his parents; they stole from me, stole from Old Gregg. So I took their most prized possession, little baby Vince'

Howard felt a flush of anger, but managed to suppress it.

'And I started a band, Old Gregg's Family Funk' he said proudly, ''Cause Vince is a good frontman, yes Sir, has the moves'

'But why curse her?' Howard said, keeping his voice neutral.

Old Gregg's eyes glinted. 'Because, Vince wants to escape, Vince doesn't want to stay with Old Gregg, and until Vince breaks the spell, _she_ will forever be linked to me, I will always know where _she_ is, and able to harm her. _She_ will never break the spell, for I know about her, I know her secrets, and _she_ will never be able to break his curse herself'

Howard bunched his fists into Vince's duvet.

'That doesn't sound very fair' Howard said slowly.

Old Gregg looked confused, 'Old Gregg wants to help, to share his funky produce, its fair indeed'

Then he paused, and smirked, 'But you, Prince Howard, you do not know Vince like I do, do you?'

Howard frowned, 'I do Sir, I know her like no-one else'

Old Gregg opened his mouth to protest.

xxxxx

'_You can practice on me!' Vince said excitedly, taking a tablecloth from his cupboard and draping it over a small box._

'_But Vince, I feel silly' Howard protested._

'_Come on Howard' Vince said persuasively, 'how can you win over the girl of your dreams, if you haven't practiced being all romantic like, and this is perfect, we can recreate a date or something'_

_Howard relented, 'Okay' he said, sitting down on another upturned box. _

_Vince sighed. 'Howard, you did not offer to pull my chair out for me'_

'_But, it's a box'_

'_You aren't taking this very seriously, are you Howard?'_

'_I am! I am! It's__ j__ust…I don't know what I am doing'_

'_Well, neither do I Howard, I've had to piece together what I know about the world'_

'_Sorry, I forget. Now, you look lovely tonight, how are your family?'_

'_My family are well, thank-you for asking, you too look very nice'_

_Then both men laughed at their stilted conversation, so different to their usual, easy banter._

'_I like you better as Howard' Vince teased, 'not Prince Howard'_

_Howard felt touched at this, 'Well I like Vince better than Princess Vince' he said, offering her a piece of his cupcake._

_xxxxx  
_

With a loud bang, Howard looked up to see Vince, falling headfirst over the top of the window frame.

Old Gregg leapt up and ran towards Vince, as if to push him over, but Howard shoved him roughly, running towards Vince and scooping him up in his arms.

'Are you okay?' he asked hurriedly, running his hands over Vince's hair, checking for blood or bruises.

'I'm okay' Vince assured him, stroking his arm and looking up at him.

Howard breathed a prayer and tucked an arm around Vince's waist, turning to face Old Gregg who was rubbing his shoulder, and grumbling.

'You will suffer for this' he said threateningly to Vince, who moved behind Howard. You have ruined our romantic evening' he continued, 'and you will pay'

Vince spoke out angrily, 'Your romantic evening? As if mermaid boy, I've been planning _our_' he gestured between him and Howard, 'romantic evening for ages now, and you ruined it, making me forage for stupid berries'

Old Gregg went to speak but Vince held out his hand, moving in front of Howard.

'No, it's my turn to talk. I am not scared of you now. Being trapped up here, its no life at all, I've only felt alive with Howard beside me, and if you kill him, I'll have nothing to life for, because I don't think I can be me anymore without him'

Old Gregg's mouth gaped. 'Well he won't want you anymore' he said nastily, 'You have no options Vincey, my pretty Vincey _boy_'.

Howard looked confused, but Vince slowly moved towards Old Gregg.

'Give me, give me one minute to explain' he said beseechingly to Old Gregg, willing him to have compassion.

'Okay' Old Gregg agreed, 'It'll make no difference will it? I'll start on this watercolour, for mine and Howard's wedding'

'You just promise me you won't hurt him' Vince begged, 'please?'

Old Gregg looked surprised, 'No, I will not harm him, Old Gregg loves his Howard. Now, you have one minute to say goodbye. I tire of you, ruining my plans'

Vine turned around to face Howard, his eyes watery.

'Howard' he started, then his face fell.

Howard's heart was aching, and he didn't know what to say, what to do. He had never felt more useless. But in spite of this, he took Vince's hand and nodded encouragingly, 'Yes, Vince?'

'I lied to you.' Vince said quickly, 'I am so, so sorry to have done it, but I didn't know how to keep you around, or to give me a way of seeing you again, and I didn't want to, but it kept getting harder to tell you, then I fell in love with you, and everything was so good, but I was so scared of this, this moment, having to tell you, but I'm not scared anymore, because after this I won't see you ever again, and nothing is worse than that, nothing Howard'

Vince suddenly stopped, his fast words catching up with him. His mouth was dry and his heart was racing.

'You fell….with me?' Howard said, feeling like he was hearing his own words from a long way away. His whole body flushed.

Vince nodded shyly, and looked at the floor, the tears dripping from his eyelashes.

'Howard' he said, his voice cracking. 'I'm not a Princess'

'A Duchess?' Howard prompted.

Vince shook his head.

'A Countess?'

Vince was exasperated, and grabbed Howard's hand, shoving it roughly against his groin.

Howard's face flushed a deep red and he nodded, moving back.

'Got it'

'20 seconds' Old Gregg said lazily.

'Could be worse' Howard said, looking up from underneath his curls and smirking.

Vince grinned and shakily breathed out.

'10 seconds' called Old Gregg.

Suddenly both men were struck fully by the desperation of their situation.

Howard looked panicked. 'Vince, what do we do? I can't save you; I don't know what to do anymore'.

A wall broke down in Vince's head; maybe he wasn't the only one who was scared. Maybe Howard was scared too.

'Howard' Vince said, bringing his hand to his chest and looking up into Howard's face, imploring him to look at him. 'Please…just kiss me, please?'

Howard nodded slowly, and moved closer. Old Gregg suddenly leapt to his feet and ran towards them, his arms outstretched.

'No!' he screeched, 'Don't do that Vince, he doesn't love you, Don't!'

But it was too late, and Howard gently brought his hand up to Vince's cheek, stroking it before leaning in to kiss him.

The moment their lips met, a bright light surrounded them, filling the tower with rainbows and glitter. A second later, and it was gone.

Vince slowly pulled back, 'I feel…I feel' he said, collapsing onto the floor.

Howard looked up wildly at Old Gregg, who looked faded, he moved forwards and then stopped, as if blocked by something.

Angrily, Old Gregg tried again, banging his fists on the air in front of Howard and Vince, 'It's the spell' he said, 'I never thought he would break the curse! Howard, Howard, come back to me, come save Old Gregg from being trapped here'

Howard wished the wall wasn't there, so he could harm Old Gregg in some way. Choosing to ignore him, Howard dropped to his knees and stroked Vince's hair from his face.

'Darling' he said, as Vince came to, 'We need to go okay? He can't harm you anymore, its all over; I'm taking you back with me'

Vince smiled dreamily, still very tired, 'To the castle?'

'Yes' Howard replied, picking up Vince, who nuzzled into his neck, and carefully moving towards the window, sliding down the hair like a fireman's pole.

'Got Room service Prince Charming?' Vince asked quietly, his eyes closing again as the departed curse exhausted him.

Howard laughed and kissed his forehead. 'Yes'

'Genius'

xxxxxxxxxx

* * *

'_And then we lived happily ever after, didn't we Howard?'_

'_Well, sort of little man, we had to fight ancient rulings to allow two men to get married, and for you to be a Prince.'_

_Yeah, but they came around_

'_Only because you offered my Dad a makeover.'_

'_Yeah, and look how much better he looks! A quiff works on him, it's a brave look.'_

'_5 months of legal discussion, and you sort it all with a comb and some hairspray.'_

'_Style talks Howard. It talks, and people listen yeah?'_

'_And you agreed to be Princess Vince at weekends.'_

'_Yeah, but that's just for fun!'_

'_Let's keep that between us though'_


End file.
